English 
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Wow. Where do I start? First of all I love sci-fi and I love comic books. I love the genre. It would not be a stretch to say I’m obsessed with it. I mean I made it my life’s work. Literally. Read my bio. When I found out that this was a Star Wars story that just didn’t get made, I was in. Now I see why. Disney took one look at the script and tried to find some interesting characters and some kind of story. If there’s one thing these guys know is story!
although, currently, they seem to have thrown out their winning formula for some weird Female driven crap. Now, for the record, I really like a strong female driven property. How could I not? I’m a child of the 70’s. Charlie Angels, Police Woman, the Bionic Woman, Wonder Woman. The difference between these absolute gems and Zack Snyder’s soup of terrible? Good story, concept & excellent writing. Rebel Moon is meant to be a female lead science fiction drama.
While I’m writing this, I’m actually doing research. Why? I honestly can’t remember the names of the characters. Unlike in Star Wars or Raiders of the lost Arc where the characters are instantly burned into your brain in the first 5 minutes of their introduction, in this clap trap, they do not. I will say that the movie looks great. It does. The people who made it obviously spent their budget on effects and sad “To hell with script writers! We’ll just get AI to do it.”
So this poor excuse for entertainment product starts off on a moon somewhere. Yeah, a moon. There is a village on this moon that’s basically a community of farmers. One day, in-between the terrible dialog, a warship appears in the sky. These jokers are basically supposed to be the empire. They land, kill the village leader and demand everything that this community has produced in terms of food stuff for their troops, leaving the community with little or nothing to live on. Sound familiar? Of course it does.
So, at one point, the “empire” or in this case the “home world” forces get a little rowdy and start forcing themselves on a local, and beautiful, farm girl and our female lead “Kora” played by Sofia Boutella cleans their collective clocks with multiple slow motion action fight scenes. I’m surprised “sad sack superman” Henry Cavill didn’t yell “Marthaaaaaa….” while she took care of business.
So, after she does that, she sets off on a quest to find warriors who will fight the “Home World” forces (which are hella formidable) once they return to get their crops from the community. Sound familiar? Yeah, it should. Well, at this point, we go through some meaningless scenes of Kara collecting warriors to fight for her cause. Quite frankly, no one has a reason to risk their lives for this lady. She plays on their morality to do whatever she says which would never happen in real life. Maybe they would fight like the A-Team, if they were promised some treasure or land but she has neither of those to give.
There is a bad guy in this jumble of suckery. His name is “Atticus” played by Ed Skrein, who of course is dressed like a nazi and enjoys killing for no reason at all to make him seem more ruthless & evil. To make long story short, there are a bunch of competent actors in this horrendously written project. Djimon Hounsou, Charlie Hunnam, Staz Nair even good ole Ray Fisher. None of whom could muster up enough talent to actually make this motion picture watchable.
While it was good to see them, it wasn’t good to see them in this Netflix foolishness. This mess was as bad as his superhero crap, which thank goodness got recast and is now being reworked. Now, I’d really love to tell you more awefulness about this travesty of digital content, but after all, this is just a review and I really want you to see it for yourself. Mainly, so that you can see that I’m not lying about anything I’ve written about this flick.
After you watch it and give it a thumbs down on Netflix (cause it sucks ass and Snyder must be stopped), cleanse your palette with something good. We’re putting some suggestions below, All things that Synder ripped off because he doesn’t have an original bone in his body. Well, that’s it for now. I’d better get started on the next weeks review. I’ll see you on the Flipside!
